Tuesday 16 April 2013

23

previously on... no wait, there is no previously. This is actually where the story begins. Where does the story begin, you ask? Right here, infront of some fancy house in a secluded and secure area somewhere in Cape Town.

If you're wondering 'Why Cape Town' then... you're overthinking things. For now, just take it easy and go with it.

Where was I... ah yes, that's right, infront of a massive and no doubt incredibly expensive house... there's a guy standing infront of the door, holding an unbranded shopping bag.

Unbranded shopping bag? suspicious. And why's he wearing sunglasses at night? Suspicious. And why's he holding a newspaper under his arms? Super suspicious.

10:04:15

The door opened.
 "Who are you?" said the guy standing in the dorway, already wearing his checked pyjamas and a 100% cotton navy blue gown, holding an empty wine glass in his hand.
"I have what you ordered" said the guy with the sunglasses.
"But you're not my regular. What happened?" said the guy in the 100% cotton gown.
"He decided to get out of the business. I took over from him."
"Whatever. I don't care. I'm out of energy and I need a boost. Did you bring what I want?"
"Yeh." the guy with the sunglasses opened up the bag to reveal it's contents. There were a few items, the most eye catching of which was a clear plastic bag that contained some sort of white powder.
"I hope you have the money cause it wasn't easy to get what you wanted so quickly. I'm expecting a little extra because I had to rush"
"The previous guy didn't complain. He knew how to provide a service... a service I'm paying a lot for."
He raised his finger (the index finger, not the other one you're probably thinking of) and pointed it toward Sunglasses guy, "Now if you can't handle it, then I'll find someone else who can get me what I want, when I want it. So, do I need to look for someone else?"
"Okay, okay, okay. Let's take it easy. I was just joking about the rush-fee. The normal price is fine."
"Hmm... even they are worried about competition," thought the guy in the 100% cotton gown, to himself
"Can I ask you something?" said the guy with the sunglasses "Why did you only order 100g of flour? I had to buy a 1kg bag of flour, go home, measure 100g and put it in a plastic bag. That's a lot of effort you know"
Gown wearing Guy pointed in the direction of his kitchen while saying "I'm trying out a cupcake recipe that I saw on Food Network. Why must I buy a kg of flour if I only need 100g?"

Sunglasses Guy handed over the groceries Gown Wearing Guy ordered, and Gown Wearing Guy paid him, including a little extra. Gown Wearing Guy said that he paid a little extra as a bonus. He called that bonus the New Delivery Guy's First Successful Delivery Bonus to Get on Good Terms with The New Delivery Guy to Encourage Good Service from Him in the Future Bonus.

"Thanks" said Gown Wearing Guy, slowly closing the door "If I need a delivery in the future, I'll be sure to call you and-"
"Man, you look terrible. Have you been getting enough sleep... or is that just how your face looks, in which case I'm sorry for bringing it up."
"I don't want to hear that from some I-wear-sunglasses-at-night-to-look-cool-to-hide-that-I'm-a weirdo-pervert type of guy. Besides, you have no idea the kind of day I had."
"Okay, let's hear it"
"I prevented an assassination, deactivated and destroyed 10 bombs and discovered corruption in the Government... and that was just in the last 22 hours"
"Wow. Wait, who are you calling a pervert?"
"Yeh. And now I'm at the part where I have to confront the corrupt official and get him to tell me what he knows so that I can prevent 2 small countries most people don't know even exists, from going to war."
"That's insane."
"Yeh. I'm actually stuck on this part. Maybe I should check out gamesradar.com to find out if there isn't an easy way to do this... maybe like a special sequence or even a game cheat."
"Uh? What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about this video game I've been playing for the last 20 hours. Seriously, the people who created Call of Obligation 4 really know their stuff."
"The last 20 hours. What about work?"
"Oh, I called in sick so that I could play this game. I wanted to finish it in a day but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Hm... maybe I should call in sick tomorrow as well."
Apart from the flour, he ordered 2 cans of Red Bull and a packet of Biltong. Yes, he was that serious about finishing the game.

10:09:38

"I'm only noticing this now but, you have an impressive lounge... what is that? Wow, that couch looks incredibly comfortable. It must be really comfortable. I mean, I'm guessing. It's not like I've sat on such comfortable looking couches recently. But from what I can tell just by looking at them, they must be very comforta-"
"Are you hinting that you want to sit down?"
"Well if you insist" and he walked over the the nearest couch and sat down.
"So, you where mentioning something about a deadline"
"Yes," sitting in the chair opposite him, "I have to fill out this form and submit it before 11p.m. tonight."
The guy with the sunglasses sank a little deeper into the couch, resting his head against the curve of the couch, "That's a cool looking chandelier... what is it made of... blue glass? Hmm... it really adds to the simple, yet cool and modern look of this room. And this colour theme..."

10:16:59

The conversation flowed from one topic to the next as the minutes rolled by.
 
"And this weather we've been having lately... would you like something to drink?"

10:27:17

"...oh, don't even get me started on politics... by the way, these cupcakes turned out great. I still think..."

"...Oh, so that's your name. Me? You can call me Jack. Would you like a refill?"

"...Jack, are you really a teacher? And you live in such an expensive house. You must be loaded. Are you...ah... connected as well... like they show on the T.V sometimes?"
"Connected? Of cause. The lights and some security features of the house are connected to my iPad. You wanna see..."

10:32:51

"Modern Family? Of cause I watch Modern Family. I also like to watch..."

10:41:42

Delivery Guy looked at his watch, "I guess it's time for me to go. By the way, didn't you have to drop off something before 11?"

"Relax. If I drive 100km an hour I should make it within a few minutes"

Delivery Guy made his way to the door, "But the speed limit is 60km?"

Jack opened the door, "Drive safely. I'll call you again if I need something delivered" pretending not to hear the last comment.

10:46:39

Jack is in his car, driving 100 in a 60 zone.

10:57:01

He bursts through the school's doors, running down the hall to reach the entry box. He looks down at his watch, 22:58. Yes, there's still time left and he is almost at the entry box.

He plans on shoving the form into the box without slowing down. His arm stretched out before him, papers held straight. He sees the slot just a few inches away. Papers are in line and they enter... wait, instead of disappearing, the papers hit something and crumple.

What the hell. Jack looks through the slot. It appears to be blocked by a metal plate.

He looks at his watch. 22:59

What's going on? There's still time. And why is this slot closed? And who's supposed to be here to make sure no one slips in a form after 11?

He turned around, expecting to see someone. That's when he noticed the poster near the entry box.

Thank You for entering the "Why I Love Being a Teacher" competition

Since we couldn't get any volunteers to wait until 11pm to collect the forms,
We've decided to follow the capitalist mentality of using machines to do the job humans once did.
So at exactly 11pm, the entry box will automatically shut.

P.S That's 11pm according to the clock above the entry box
P.P.S The clock is 1 minute... sorry, that's 1 hour fast.

"Damn. If only I had one more hour!"

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